Valentine's Wisdom from Rebecca Ward

Thanks to Rebecca Ward for sharing this great Valentine's Day blog post.

Valentines Day is a marketing bonanza for jewelers and florists, no doubt about it. Probably restaurateurs too as dining out is usually part of the Valentine Day scenario. Do you know what your significant other wants for Valentines? What is he or she expecting you to do...or say or buy? Most have expectations on such a media hyped holiday just as planned.  And that's my focus in this blog...expectations. We've all got 'em and too many times we don't tell anyone what they are. We keep them a secret magically hoping that the one who needs to know what they are, WILL know and follow through to the letter to meet each of them.  And how often does that really happen? Not nearly enough or who would write songs and poems?

My father, one of the most thoughtful men I've ever known, resented holidays because he said they forced him into buying something so that the gift itself never meant as much as a gift that was given "just because."  I can understand his thinking but my thinking was if it's time to recognize a person because it's Christmas or a birthday or whatever the occasion is by giving them a gift of goods or services, the doing of it says there is meaning. Most always Dad would bow to custom but I remember vividly one year when Mother said "Don't worry about it.I don't expect anything." Ha! He believed her, came home empty handed, and she was tearful and quiet all evening. I was confused. He had asked what she would like for Valentine's Day, she had said "nothing" and he didn't bring her anything. He got her nothing which is what she asked for. I wondered why she didn't tell him what her expectations really had been. I ate my little note-hearts from school and pondered the mystery of adult communication. Wow. I asked Santa Claus for everything I could imagine and the Easter Bunny too. No problems there for me.

Many years later I learned that most of us have some difficulty asking for what we want, trouble sharing what our expectations are so we just keep quiet and hope that the power of voodoo supernatural magic will transmit our deepest and most detailed expectations to the ones from whom we expect and all will turn out just great! When you're all grown up and have to take responsibility for yourself, it feels a little risky to ask for something from someone who really matters to you. Maybe he/she will say "No." or not have the time or care enough to try to make a wish of yours come true. So that would not feel good but better to find out sooner than later.

If you want a box of candy in a heart-shaped box covered in red satin with a big old bow on top, tell your sweetheart. And if you only want creams in milk chocolate, let him know. If your heart is set on red roses or yellow or even calla lilies, let the poor guy know. And if you don't say a word to him, then don't say a word to him if he doesn't get it right!!

And guys, if you're hankering for something special from your lady, let her know or see above!