Valentine's Wisdom from Rebecca Ward

Thanks to Rebecca Ward for sharing this great Valentine's Day blog post.

Valentines Day is a marketing bonanza for jewelers and florists, no doubt about it. Probably restaurateurs too as dining out is usually part of the Valentine Day scenario. Do you know what your significant other wants for Valentines? What is he or she expecting you to do...or say or buy? Most have expectations on such a media hyped holiday just as planned.  And that's my focus in this blog...expectations. We've all got 'em and too many times we don't tell anyone what they are. We keep them a secret magically hoping that the one who needs to know what they are, WILL know and follow through to the letter to meet each of them.  And how often does that really happen? Not nearly enough or who would write songs and poems?

My father, one of the most thoughtful men I've ever known, resented holidays because he said they forced him into buying something so that the gift itself never meant as much as a gift that was given "just because."  I can understand his thinking but my thinking was if it's time to recognize a person because it's Christmas or a birthday or whatever the occasion is by giving them a gift of goods or services, the doing of it says there is meaning. Most always Dad would bow to custom but I remember vividly one year when Mother said "Don't worry about it.I don't expect anything." Ha! He believed her, came home empty handed, and she was tearful and quiet all evening. I was confused. He had asked what she would like for Valentine's Day, she had said "nothing" and he didn't bring her anything. He got her nothing which is what she asked for. I wondered why she didn't tell him what her expectations really had been. I ate my little note-hearts from school and pondered the mystery of adult communication. Wow. I asked Santa Claus for everything I could imagine and the Easter Bunny too. No problems there for me.

Many years later I learned that most of us have some difficulty asking for what we want, trouble sharing what our expectations are so we just keep quiet and hope that the power of voodoo supernatural magic will transmit our deepest and most detailed expectations to the ones from whom we expect and all will turn out just great! When you're all grown up and have to take responsibility for yourself, it feels a little risky to ask for something from someone who really matters to you. Maybe he/she will say "No." or not have the time or care enough to try to make a wish of yours come true. So that would not feel good but better to find out sooner than later.

If you want a box of candy in a heart-shaped box covered in red satin with a big old bow on top, tell your sweetheart. And if you only want creams in milk chocolate, let him know. If your heart is set on red roses or yellow or even calla lilies, let the poor guy know. And if you don't say a word to him, then don't say a word to him if he doesn't get it right!!

And guys, if you're hankering for something special from your lady, let her know or see above!

Post Workout Makeup & Skincare

Thanks to Tess Wilmans-Higgins for sharing these post workout makeup and skincare tips. For more like this this, visit Tess' blog: http://www.peaceandlipgloss.com/ .

I love that awesome rosy glow I get after a session at the gym. However, I don't love the smeared mascara and sweaty pores that can be left behind. Here are my favorite ways to get ready in a jiff after a workout.

1. Makeup Remover Wipes Use these after you shower off to remove any dirt and leftover makeup.
2. Tinted Moisturizer or BB Cream Don't cover up that rosy flush with tons of heavy foundation. Sheer formulas are more youthful anyway. Tinted moisturizers will provide moisture, SPF protection and a light coverage. BB creams pack a whollop and act as primer, moisture and coverage all in one. Some don't have SPF, tho, so be on the lookout for one that does.
3. Concealer Gotta have a great concealer to brighten up under the eyes. I like Makeup Forever HD concealer.
4. Multitasking Products Use a cream tint for lips and cheeks. I like Stila cream blush. Julie Hewett makes a beautiful cream product called Shimmy that is awesome for eyeshadow and to highlight the face. Products that do double-duty save you time when you've got to hustle back to work.
5. Lovely Lashes My clients LOVE their eyelash extensions and many say they don't need eye makeup after a workout because their extensions look so good! If you don't have lash extensions, a great mascara is a must. Find your fave and place a business or credit card behind the lashes and wiggle the wand upward from the base of the lash line. That will catch any mascara from getting onto the eyelid and will give the base of the lashes a thick, black look and eliminate the need for eyeliner.

I hope you try out these tips after your next trip to the gym!

Love, Sweat, and Lipgloss

Tess 

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Rebecca Ward's thoughts on New Year's Resolutions

I've been thinking about New Year's resolutions for awhile because it's that time of year and because I'm talking about them on GMA this week. All the major networks have had segments on them and I've really not seen or heard anything about the subject that surprised me. The main gist seems to be that of those who make them, a very small percentage are successful in keeping them. I read somewhere on the net that 88% fail to keep those heartfelt commitments made with such fervor on December 31, when many are still feeling stuffed and bloated from too many holiday goodies, fatigued from many extra responsibilities and activities, and perhaps, from sipping too many adult libations. We feel guilty!!

Really making a resolution from a place of guilt is not a solid place from which to start! Why? Well, because guilt can promote unrealistic goals that are too daunting to reach. If you say "I'm never drinking alcohol again" that is likely doomed to fail (especially if you  are proclaiming this while you have a headache-hangover) because it's got the "never" word in it and is not well-thought out. It's almost a desperate pronouncement, a plea to the gods in atonement for your sin of over-enjoying alcoholic beverages. A resolution much more likely to stick would sound more like this "I'm going to limit myself to only two drinks when reveling so I won't have to feel this lousy again." Better and more do-able!

I read somewhere that resolutions actually have some religious history, an atonement kind of activity meant to please the gods and to make us better people. Even the ancient Babylonians practiced some form of making resolutions at the beginning of the new year. I wonder how they fared?

One article I read said that men succeed at about a 10% higher rate than women. They make more measurable goals apparently than women do. A man might say "I am going to lose 10lbs" while a woman might say "I'm fat and I'm never eating chocolate again and I"m going to lose a ton of weight"

Another study said it helps to elicit help from you friends in keeping your resolutions. Tell your best friend that you want to lose 10 lbs so she won't offer you dessert when you go out to lunch. I have known some successful former-smokers who told  everyone that they had quit smoking so they wouldn't slip-up without facing public derision.

Whatever you decide to do during these first few days of January, think about what you want to change about yourself or your life, what improvements you'd like to experience in yourself and your life, and then commit to something very reasonable toward those goals. Set yourself up to win in this age old practice of starting the new year off on a positive note.Good luck and Spring will come again. Me? I've always thought April was the optimum month for beginning an improvement program. Sunlight is such a motivator!

-Rebecca Ward